Thursday 15 September 2016 by Davywavy

Dr Nick Riviera declares Trump fit to serve


Dr Nick Riviera on Donald Trump

Donald Trump has released a glowing medical report from ‘great, credible’ physician Dr Nick Riviera today.

Dr Nick, who has served as Trump’s personal physician for over 17 minutes, delivered a comprehensive medical report confirming the candidate was entirely fit, including ‘93% free of Phlebitis’.

The report also describes Trump as having the heart of a man half his age, which clears up at least one missing persons case.

Nick Riviera holds doctorates from several prestigious medical schools, including Hollywood Upstairs Medical College, the Reno Doctor-by-mail College, and Trump University.

Speaking at a Republican rally, Dr Nick said, “Hi, Everybody!”

“As a mostly licensed medical professional I can confirm Donald Trump is in A-1, Tip-top, 100% not dead health.

“I’ve got a lot of experience in treating a bright yellow patient with a combover, and you have my word that Mr Trump is almost the most medically fit person matching that description I’ve ever examined.”

When reporters asked to see Dr Nick’s credentials, the doctor replied “Reporters? You didn’t tell me those guys would be here!”

A spokesman for Donald Trump said Nick Riviera was the best doctor in America.

“How can you question this guy? He did Mr Trump’s hair transplant.”

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