Thursday 15 September 2016 by Fat Jim

“Being passionate once in a year sounds about right” admits Mrs Corbyn


Jeremy Corbyn, passionate, PMQs

After Jeremy Corbyn was congratulated for finally showing some passion during yesterday’s Prime Minister’s Question, Mrs Corbyn admitted once a year is about par for the course.

Mrs Corbyn explained that Jeremy spends most of the year shuffling around in a beige cardigan and slippers, tending to his rhubarb at the allotments and playing at the local bridge club.

“When this labour leadership thingy came along – which by the looks of it hasn’t had much attention paid to it either – there was just no time left for me,” she ruefully explained.

“I’ve tried everything to get the passion back,” she went on “I even put up a sex swing in the garage, ensuring that it only swings to the far left.”

After Mrs Corbyn’s attempts had failed the couple decided to see a sex therapist, who suggested the Corbyn’s find a key phrase that would get Jeremy in the mood.

“He is passionate about grammar schools as you know,” continued Mrs Corbyn.

“So yesterday after he arrived home from Prime Minister’s Questions, I dressed up in my St. Trinian’s outfit and whispered our trigger phrase in his ear – ‘we need more Grammar Schools’ – and my God did I get it.

“He was like Black Rod hammering at the chamber door, although he had more than three knocks in him,” she winked.

“Just once a year mind, neither of us could do it again,” she said resting on a rubber ring.

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