Thursday 15 September 2016 by Spacey

BBC to only make programmes specific to interests of man from Kent


BBC programmes only for man from Kent

The BBC has announced plans to overhaul its entire programming schedule in a bid to ensure that its output is specific to the interests of a man who lives in Sevenoaks.

Mr Simon Williams has sent thousands of emails to the BBC expressing his dissatisfaction at shows that aren’t aimed at him, and his persistence has finally paid off.

“I don’t pay my license fee to watch things that aren’t specifically aimed at me,” said Mr Williams.

“I want the news to be reported in a way that fits in with my own personal world view and I want the shows to be about topiary, set in Tonbridge Wells and presented by Nigel Farage.”

A BBC spokesman confirmed that the new schedule will be phased in over the next few months.

“We’re committed to providing Mr Williams with a channel he can call his own.

“Shows like Strictly Shrub Clipping, Hedge Cops and comedies like Gavin and Stacey and Nigel Farage are already in production.

“There are exciting times ahead!”

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