Wednesday 14 September 2016

Republican pro-lifers defend right-to-life of Hillary Clinton’s pneumonia virus


Hillary Clinton, pneumonia

Hillary Clinton’s pneumonia virus has as much right to live a long and successful life as anyone else, according to the Republican pro-life movement today.

With the virus currently facing a barrage of life-limiting concoctions designed to terminate its existence, senior Republicans have insisted all life is precious.

GOP spokesperson Chuck Williams told us, “Life is a gift, no matter what form it takes.

“Even if that life is of a viral nature, and its sole purpose on this planet is to slowly fill Hillary Clinton’s lungs with fluid. If that is what’s happening, it’s only because that’s what Jesus wants to happen.”

“It is the duty of every God-fearing Republican to stand up and defend the rights of that virus to live it’s life free from death-dealing doctors determined to abort its progress through her body.”

Republican nominee Donald Trump claimed his own pro-life stance means he has no choice but to stand beside the pneumonia virus in its attempts to survive inside Clinton’s lungs.

Trump told supporters, “It’s fighting the good fight, standing up to the establishment and just trying to do what it was put on this planet to do – aren’t we all?

“I tell you now, if I become president, I will make Hillary’s pneumonia great again.”

Democratic campaign manager Billy Smith expressed his surprise at the Republican position, telling us, “Well, I guess we should be pleased that the Republicans are finally taking an interest in the health of a woman.”

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