Wednesday 14 September 2016

David Davis to bring back Parliament’s sovereignty by not telling it anything about Brexit talks


Brexit Minister David Davis

Brexit minister David Davis has announced he will bring back parliament’s sovereignty by keeping it completely in the dark over his Brexit negotiations with the EU.

After campaigning during the referendum on the principle that our elected parliament should have the final say on all matters affecting the country, Davis has admitted he didn’t mean this sort of thing.

He explained to reporters, “No, I meant stuff about the shape of bananas, and how powerful our kettles and vacuum cleaners can be – parliament should have the final say on all of those things.

“But not on the detail of a deal that will materially affect the country and it’s citizens for the next twenty-five years. Parliament doesn’t need to be concerned about stuff like that.”

David went on to explain the process by which Brexit itself will be negotiated.

He continued, “Of course, I can’t do all of the negotiating myself – I am just one man after all – so I will be delegating the responsibility to some senior civil servants – or ‘unelected bureaucrats’ as you might call them.

“So yes, unelected officials will have a pretty big say in how the country is affected by Brexit.

“But this is very different to when I complained that the EU’s unelected bureaucrats got to decide how the UK is affected by EU laws; it is different because I say it is.

“Yes it is, shut up.”

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