Tuesday 13 September 2016 by Davywavy

Jeremy Corbyn to stand in David Cameron’s constituency


Jeremy Corbyn to stand in Witney constituency

Jeremy Corbyn is to stand for election in David Cameron’s vacated Witney Constituency, trusting in his incredible popularity to win him the seat.

The announcement comes in the wake of news that Corbyn’s Islington North constituency will be lost in the forthcoming boundaries shake-up, with Corbyn looking to take the fight to the Tories in the run up to victory in 2020.

Team Corbyn is reported to be ‘extremely confident’ of his chances of victory, pointing out that Jeremy has never lost an election he has contested and leads the largest political party in Europe – both of which mean the Tories don’t stand a chance.

Pointing out that until David Cameron took the seat in 2001 it was held by a Labour MP, Corbyn’s team have announced they will ‘win this thing’ and cement Jeremy’s position as the new political messiah.

“Taking advantage of Cameron’s departure like this is probably our smartest move yet,” a Labour spokesman told us, accurately.

“We’ve been saying for the last year we should unite and take the fight to the Conservatives, and what better opportunity than this?

“This is a political masterstroke; we really can’t fail this time. The next election is in the bag.”

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