Tuesday 13 September 2016

Hillary Clinton ‘medically fit for presidency’ despite being crushed by falling house


Witch under the house

Hillary Clinton has insisted that she’s medically fit for the Presidency despite being squashed by a falling house.

Rumours have followed Clinton for several days that she wasn’t in the best of health after her toes were seen to roll up and vanish under the house over the weekend, but her team have insisted that she remains fit and just needs a little time to recuperate.

Initial reports of the event described a ‘twister’, although it is uncertain if that referred to a whirlwind or Clinton herself.

A spokesman for Clinton had initially denied a house had dropped on her at all, but witnesses pointed out that it was quite a large house, and it was seen to fall on her from quite a height on national television – followed by celebrations led by a cowardly lion with an unconvincing toupee.

“Ding dong, the wicked witch of the West Wing is dead,” he is understood to have sung to his supporters.

The Lion went on to say he looks forward to debating with Clinton, and hopes she’s recovered enough for him to throw a bucket of water over her.

However, a spokesman for Clinton responded that they expect the debates to be a walkover as the lion lacks a heart, a brain and courage, while she has an army of winged monkeys who will do her every bidding.

When asked how he felt this might affect her electoral chances, ruler of the Emerald City, the Great and Powerful Ob, said, “Well, I guess we can’t win Kansas anymore”.

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