Monday 12 September 2016 by Tom Moore

Man who hasn’t been clubbing in 9 years furious about closure of London nightspot


Fabric closed

A man who has not been on a night out since 2007 is said to be enraged by the recent decision by Islington Council to close London nightclub, Fabric.

Simon Williams, who doesn’t even go to the pub with his friends anymore and is only ever seen at social occasions orchestrated by his wife, revealed his feelings on Facebook.

Simon posted, “So sad to see Fabric close this week. Spent many a top night there in my party days.

“There’s so much creativity and inspiration in places like Fabric, where are people meant to go to let loose these days? It’s a sad state of affairs if you ask me.”

Many people are genuinely angered by the decision to shut down Fabric with a popular theory being that a cash strapped Council are using the excuse of ‘drug use’ as justification to sell the land to property investors.

A Friend of Simon’s who still has a social life and actually goes out clubbing on a semi-regular basis said “Yeah, Simon’s full of shit. He’s never been to Fabric in his life.

“He told me he tried to get in once in 2001 but was turned away because he was on a stag do dressed as a Smurf. Back in his so-called ‘party days’, he spent most of his time throwing up in various All Bar Ones.

“You could say his post was slightly fabricated”.

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