Monday 12 September 2016 by Lucas Wilde

Giddy Archers fan stays up until 9:30pm


Happy old man stays up for the Archers

A longtime fan of The Archers stayed up until 9:30pm last night as they couldn’t stop talking about it.

Simon Williams, 63, simply couldn’t get to sleep at his usual time of 8:45pm due to the sheer excitement of the hour-long courtroom special of the show.

“I was elated,” beamed a bleary-eyed Williams, having only got nine hours’ sleep.

“Helen finally got her freedom and that bastard, Rob, finally got what was coming to him, the total shit.

“Ooh! I never swear. See? That’s how bloody excited I am- HA! BLOODY! That’s twice now! I’ll be releasing a hip-hop album at this rate!”

Williams’ wife, Elizabeth King, said, “there is a reason I never took his last name.

“In a way it’s sweet to see him so excited. He’s not been this giddy since he was told he could buy shares in the post office.

“I know it’s called Royal Mail, but you try telling him that.

“I just wish he’d show similar enthusiasm for our anniversary, my birthday, or when I woke up from my coma.”

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