Monday 12 September 2016 by Spacey

Ambitious children keen to become next generation of academics the government ignore


Happy Children to be ignored by Government

Ambitious and hardworking schoolchildren are looking forward to becoming the next generation of teachers, doctors and scientists who the government will completely ignore when formulating policy.

With experts portrayed by ministers as troublemaking scum, students are lining up to be demonised for expressing any sort of opposition to government plans.

“I’m looking forward to studying really hard and gaining years of experience in my chosen field,” said 13-year-old Simon Williams.

“I’ll know that I’ve made it when someone like Jeremy Hunt, who failed in a bid to export marmalade to Japan, tosses my opinions aside like a used wank-sock.”

With the current crop of academics and experts routinely dismissed as interfering, know-nothing Trotskyists, ministers have welcomed the ambition and drive of today’s young people.

“This government is committed to ignoring the very brightest and most innovative people in the UK,” said Education Minister Justine Greening, who became education secretary by training as an accountant.

“Having knowledge of your brief only clouds your judgement,” she concluded.

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