Sunday 11 September 2016

Gamers sat on sofa enjoying sight of Pokémon Go players outside in the rain


Gamer iPad sofa

Gamers have insisted that although Pokémon Go looks like fun, it’s not as much fun as playing games on the sofa surrounded by your creature comforts.

The rise of Pokémon Go has led to many gamers ‘enjoying’ the outside, though many experts have claimed that the ‘outside’ in the UK is vastly overrated.

Gamer Simon Williams told us that he didn’t get into gaming so he can run around in the fresh air and get piss wet through when it rains.

“If that was of interest to me I’d have taken up actual ‘sports’ – heaven forbid.

Personally, I like my games played on a console or an iPad, and played from the relative cosiness of my own sofa, surrounded by my creature comforts.

Whether I’m playing The Sims or Scrabble, gaming was designed to be enjoyed indoors with a bag of potato chips and a can of coke, not while running around working up a sweat.

Technology brings to my house all the good minus the bad. For instance, why go out to a fancy casino, dress up, paying for vacation, etc, when I can visit an online casino, wearing my pyjamas. They even offer promotions; you can’t find in a real casino.

Sweating is something you should only do when you run to greet the Pizza delivery driver.”

Outdoor Gaming

Industry experts have said that although Pokémon Go may have had a surge in use in recent weeks, players will go back to more traditional online games the very moment the weather turns.

Gaming industry analyst Shane Matthews, “Who doesn’t like being outside for a bit when it’s sunny? No-one, that’s who.

“I’m sure all the Pokémon Go players have had a wonderful time over the last few weeks turning their skin from white to that horrible pink colour skin goes when it’s exposed to sunlight for the very first time.

But rest assured, the average gamer will be running home faster than a Jolteon Pokémon the very second it starts raining.

Hard-core gamers need the rain like a fish needs a bicycle.

And as for playing games outside in the winter? You must be crazy if you think it will be of interest by then.

Trust me, these gamers will be back playing Call of Duty, Assassin’s Creed or Texas Hold’em poker on a sofa near you before you can say ‘it’s not sunny anymore.”

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