Sunday 4 September 2016 by Neil Tollfree

Keith Vaz to organise Labour’s Christmas party


Keith Vaz

The mood in the Labour party has taken a turn for the better after the news that Keith Vaz has been nominated to organise the Christmas party.

With no sign of Labour’s internal strife abating, there has been precious little for the party to feel optimistic about in recent months – until now.

“This is just fantastic news,” said one Labour party shadow minister.

“Our Christmas parties are usually an ordeal – all nettle wine, pipe smoke, and lectures on sustainable wrapping paper.

“But with Keith organising it, I’m expecting something off the scale. Like Studio 54 mixed with Mos Eisley with a hint of the last days of Rome.

“There is no one in our ranks who knows how to get the party going like Keith does. It’s all going to go off. Big time.”

Mr Vaz, The Leicester East MP and Chairman of the Home Affairs Select committee, is known as Carnival Keef to friends, family and ‘local independent leisure professionals’ for his love of wild partying and support of the ‘science’ of homeopathy.

Plans for the party have yet to be made public but it is understood that local escort firms have offered their services, and insist a local recruitment drive will make sure they are fully stocked regardless of the demands placed upon them.

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