Friday 2 September 2016 by Alex Webster

The Berlin wall turned out great, Trump tells voters


Mexico border wall

Donald Trump has reassured voters by pointing out his huge wall would be just as successful as the one in Berlin.

When Presidential candidate Donald Trump yesterday proposed fortifying the border between Mexico and the US, his advisers were quick to point out the parallels between it and a similar European experiment which took place in the 1940s.

Simon Williams Jr, a Republican campaigner and history professor at Arizona State University told reporters, “They built a huge wall around this European country, presumably to keep immigrants out, I’m not sure. Anyway, they said it split families apart and resulted in political isolation, so it must have been good.

“I mean, it’s not like it drove a wedge through an entire continent, or ensured the division of two global superpowers, or was the beginning of an arms race that brought the world to the brink of nuclear annihilation. It’s not like any of that happened.”

Other parties are already acting on the news. Souvenir sweatshops in China have already begun production of 100% genuine pieces of the ‘Houston Wall’, as it will become known, in order to profit from its eventual downfall.

Also, Pink Floyd are already considering a five-night tour of the wall, performing their album of the same name.

Industry insiders confirm that the band is already moving their sound equipment to New Mexico.

“History repeating?”, continued Mr Williams, “No I don’t think so. Why do you ask?”

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