Friday 2 September 2016

Mexico agrees to pay for Donald Trump’s wall via ‘cash on delivery’ arrangement


Mexico agrees to pay for Donald Trump's wall

After researching Donald Trump’s business tactics, Mexico has announced it is happy to pay for the border wall, and will hand over a big fat cheque just as soon as the work is complete.

Despite previously insisting that Mexico would not be paying for the wall, President Enrique Pena Nieto has now claimed they will be happy to do so, based on a ‘cash on delivery’ agreement.

Nieto explained, “If there’s one thing we’ve learned from people who’ve done business with Donald Trump, it’s that you can agree to anything you like, because when it comes to business deals, your word means nothing.

“So sure, we’ll pay for the wall – get started right now, don’t scrimp on the materials and add another ten feet to the top – spare no expense whatsoever.

“Want to add some ornate features along the route, but don’t think it’s a good way to spend the money? Don’t worry about it – we’ll pick up the tab.

“We’ll cover the cost of every inch of that wall, every single penny, but only when the work is completed. It’s not like we’d try to renegotiate the deal after someone has already delivered in good faith, hell no.

“Maybe we could have a ceremony where I hand over a cheque for $25bn or so to Donald Trump in person? Yes, that would be very good indeed. Great television I’d imagine?”

When told of the change of heart, and that Mexico is happy to pay cash on delivery for the wall, Trump told reporters, “See, I told you.”

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