Friday 2 September 2016 by Neil Tollfree

It’s not actually that difficult, explains rocket scientist


rocket scientists

It’s not actually that difficult according to rocket scientists today.

A rocket scientist has sensationally hit out at the popular aphorism by claiming that it isn’t really that difficult.

“Look, I’m not saying it’s easy,” said rocket scientist Simon Williams.

“I mean I couldn’t do rocket science if I was drunk, a four-year-old couldn’t do rocket science or, you know, Boris Johnson.

“But really all we’re talking about here is basic science – thrust, propulsion, equal and opposite forces. There’s nothing that’s terribly complex about it.

“I really don’t know why everyone keeps banging on about it, to be honest.”

Eleanor Gay is a civil servant responsible for clichés and axioms.

“This is devastating news – ‘it’s not rocket science’ is one of our most popular clichés. To find out that it’s essentially meaningless is just awful.

“Football pundits, line managers, politicians – all these people rely on clichés like ‘it’s not rocket science,’ to give the impression of wisdom and intellect. It’s hard to imagine how they’ll cope without it.

“Certainly, the Monday Night Football show on 5live will feature an awful lot more gaps in the conversation.

“Although at least we can still use ‘it’s not brain surgery’ as a temporary measure.”

However, a top brain surgeon disagreed.

“Brain surgery? It’s fairly straightforward, to be honest. I started with one of those ‘Dummies’ books.”

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