Friday 2 September 2016 by Davywavy

Banksy unmasked as reclusive billionaire Bruce Wayne


Secretive street-artist Banksy is actually the reclusive billionaire Bruce Wayne, according to sensational claims made today.

Online detectives made the connection after noticing Wayne travels internationally engaging in philanthropic enterprises, giving him the perfect cover to don a hoodie and spray silhouettes of people snogging on walls in cities around the world.

The detective who made the connection, who calls himself Ra’s al Ghul, said he’d looked into who was ‘buying the things Banksy would need’, such as spray paint, track suits, and international flights in a private jet for ill-defined purposes – and Wayne just came up every time.

“You’d need somewhere to prepare the templates for your spray art where nobody would see, such as a rambling out-of-town mansion or hidden cave,” he said.

“Bruce Wayne. Check.

“A blacked out car or helicopter to get to and from your chosen graffiti location as quickly and unobtrusively as possible? Bruce Wayne again.

“And finally, lots of black paint and some sort of disguise where people can’t see your face.

“If he’s not Banksy, what on Earth could he want all that stuff for?”

A spokesman for the Wayne Foundation denied the claim, insisting the ‘Master Bruce’ was simply following Massive Attack around the world on tour.

The press has been sceptical of the claims, saying the evidence is inconclusive.

In a lead for The Daily Planet, leader writer Clark Kent said Banksy’s silhouette art was clearly not painted but scorched onto walls, as if by someone with heat vision.

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: