Thursday 1 September 2016

Dealers offering Amazon Dash buttons for weed


Amazon Dash button for drug dealers

Drug dealers are to introduce Amazon Dash buttons for instantly ordering your supply.

The buttons, which are clipped to cupboards and appliances, allow you to reorder and pay for any product with a single press and have been rolled out today – and Britain’s street-corner entrepreneurs are immediately getting on board.

The buttons alert vendors to your need and they rush products to you immediately, which is expected to be a godsend for late-night clubbers when they run out of pills and Billy Whizz.

“Just clip your dash button to your bong and you’ll never run short again,” our dealer told us.

“I’ll be right round with another eighth, and I’ll whip by the service station and pick you up some Doritos and a Marathon for the munchies,” he added.

“All part of the service.

“Just clip this dash button to your kneecaps for so if you don’t pay up the boys know where to come.”

The black economy is always quick to adopt new technologies, and Britain’s pimps and massage parlours are already offering ‘dash’ buttons for oral sex, although they’ve declined to say where you should attach the unit.

“Normally the buttons stick on with a permanent glue, but for your blow-job dash button we recommend a skin-friendly spirit gum,” we were told.

When asked, a spokesman for dating website Grindr said he didn’t have a clue what we were talking about, as they’ve been using this sort of thing for years.

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: