Tuesday 30 August 2016 by Gary Stanton

Mo Farah’s brother outruns deportation van


Mo farah's brother

Mo Farah’s brother, Ahmed Farah, has set a new personal best for outrunning Theresa May’s ‘racist’ deportation van.

Somalian-born Ahmed Farah faces deportation despite serving four and a half years for aggravated burglary and having a really famous brother.

During her tenure as Home Secretary, May got tough on immigration with a series of patrol vans bearing slogans such as ‘Are you running the 10,000 metres illegally?’

Despite being pursued closely by the van, Ahmed saw off a strong field of Poles, Bulgarians and Romanians wanted for minor misdemeanours.

The prime minister, who will oversee Ahmed’s deportation to a country where he could be killed, is planning to soften the blow by offering his brother Mo a knighthood.

May will also pour fresh scrutiny on the relatives of non-white triple jumpers, pommel horse enthusiasts and javelin practitioners with parking violations.

Last night, May unveiled the latest in a series of anti-immigration slogans destined for a van near you, which reads:

“Are you a pole vaulter without a permit? Hand yourself in – it’s not worth it.”

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