Wednesday 24 August 2016

Fat old man in micro-thong offended by burkini

Old man at the beach in a thong

An obese old man using a postage stamp-sized strip of material to ‘hide’ his genitals has taken offence at a woman wearing a burkini.

Harold Williams, 67, explained that when at the beach he should be free to enjoy himself while basting in oil without looking at things he doesn’t like.

He explained, “My Dad didn’t fight in the war so that women could wear what they want at the beach.

“The burkini is an affront to the freedoms I believe in, and women shouldn’t be free to wear them just because they feel like it.

“If people were free to do what they like, and wear what they want, where would we be? Probably communist China, that’s where.

Williams then bent over to pick up his book to the audible gasps of other beachgoers while revealing that his nose isn’t the only orifice sprouting massive amounts of hair.

As mothers covered the eyes of their young children, Williams continued, “I just think that if you’re going to come to the beach, you should be respectful with what you wear.

“Nobody wants to see that, do they.  Now, would you mind rubbing that baby oil into my back?”

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