Wednesday 24 August 2016 by Stephen Gould

Disneyland Paris to ban masked characters


Disneyland Paris headgear to be removed

Following advice from the French Security services, Disneyland Paris is to force all character actors to remove any costume that covers the head.

The move comes after the recent ‘Burkini ban’ put in place in France, and the global recreational chain has been told that it is no longer possible for actors representing children’s’ favourite Disney characters to parade in costumes that cover their faces.

Impoverished English Literature student Simon Williams said, “It was so easy to come over and dress up as Mickey Mouse for a few months to help pay for my tuition fees, but oh no, the neo-liberal mafia has seen to that.

“Without the mask, I don’t look at all like the ridiculously randy rodent – I expect they’ll be getting some immigrant to do that job now.

A spokesman for the Disneyland Paris said they were disappointed by the ruling.

They told us, “Making our actors like Fat Dave show their sweaty faces to our guests is likely to lead to years of terrifying nightmares for traumatised children across Europe.

“Which if you think about it, is kinda what the terrorists want.”

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