Friday 19 August 2016 by Neil Tolfree

Woman wakes to moment of blissful forgetfulness before remembering 2016


woman wakes up happy

A woman has described the brief moment of blissful ignorance she felt on waking up on one morning.

“It was a lovely feeling,” said Eleanor Gay, a woman.

“I just laid there, revelling in this brief moment of elation, exalting in the feeling that everything was alright and that no harm would come to me or my loved ones.”

“And then the reality of 2016 crashed into my consciousness like the total bastard it is – Brexit, Donald Trump, Boris having power, David Bowie and Prince dead, Victoria Wood and Caroline Aherne dead, Nigel Farage’s moustache, Syria, ISIS, a total clown show running the Labour party, the resurrection of Liam Fox – the unacceptable Doctor Fox, Southern Rail, the state of the English national football team and no decent, rare Pokemon anywhere near me.

“After that, I just pulled the duvet over my head and just cried for half an hour. It’s having that feeling of everything being fine so cruelly pulled away from you that’s just so cruel.”

The feeling was recognised by millions across the country.

“The brief moment of blissful ignorance?” said Simon Williams

“Yeah, I get that. Best bit of my day by miles.”

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