Friday 19 August 2016 by Lucas Wilde

George Osborne surprises no-one by spending holiday firing machine gun and laughing


George Osborne fires guns on hoilday

Nobody is surprised to learn that former Chancellor, George Osborne, is spending his holiday firing a range of assault weapons.

The former Chancellor took advantage of his sudden wealth of free time to pop to Vietnam for a gleeful fortnight of shooting vegetation.

“I’ve never seen anyone so happy,” confirmed local Vietnamese resident, Simon Williams.

“His eyes lit up when he saw the gun rack and he immediately pointed to the biggest one and said ‘that one, give me that one’ – I swear he was drooling.

“He got it set up and within ten minutes, he had spent over 2,000 rounds of ammunition, all the while shouting SOMETHING, it sounded like ‘Norris Ronson’ but I’m not sure.

“When he had spent the entire belt of ammo he just stood there panting, smiling and sweating.

“He said he usually felt that way after a session of ‘hookers’, but being Vietnamese I don’t know what that meant.

“I assume it’s some kind of English board game.”

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