Friday 19 August 2016 by Neil Tollfree

Depression sufferer makes complete recovery after being advised to ‘cheer up’


Depressed woman told to cheer up

A lifelong sufferer of Depression has had their life turned around after being advised to ‘cheer up’.

“It was my new line manager,” confirmed Eleanor Gay.

“He’d spent a week mucking about with a spreadsheet and had run out of things to do so he called me into his office to ‘get to the bottom of this depression thing’.”

Ms Gay joined him and received his revolutionary treatment within minutes.

“Yeah, I told him about my condition, and he just leant back in his chair, folded his hands behind his head and went ‘you want to just cheer up a bit’.

“It’s changed my life. I mean, I’ve had nearly twenty years of CBT, anti-depressants and psychotherapy. If only someone had told me to cheer up all those years ago.

“He also mentioned that I should ‘snap out of it’.”

Simon Williams, the line-manager, went on to explain the theory behind his treatment.

“Well, it’s just common sense isn’t it?” He told us.

“I mean, it’s fair enough to be depressed if, you know, your wife’s left you or you’ve lost your job or something, but if you’re just depressed for no good reason, then you just need to cheer up.”

He also mentioned that people with anxiety disorders should probably just chill out.

Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt has seized on the new developments in depression treatment, cancelling all finance for current treatments of Depression and issuing guidelines for Doctors to just tell sufferers to ‘just try and cheer up a bit’.

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