Saturday 13 August 2016

We can still tell it’s you, Nigel Farage assured


Nigel Farage moustache

Nigel Farage’s new moustache isn’t fooling anyone, according to sources this morning.

After a month in which he has become a pariah amongst those suffering the adverse effects of Brexit, Farage has taken to growing a moustache in order to avoid detection in public.

After debuting the new moustache on Sam Delaney’s News Thing show on Russia Today, voters have reassured Farage that far from potentially hiding his identity, he now looks even more of a twat.

Voter Simon Williams told us, “Yes, I saw the images. It’s clearly just Nigel Farage with Oswald Mosely’s moustache.

“I don’t know why he thought it would hide his identity. There’s a reason Clark Kent went for a different hairstyle and glasses. A moustache just makes you look like a slightly more deviant version of your non-moustache self.

“I also don’t know why he went for the Mosely style of moustache, what with there being many others available.

“But I guess if you’re going to adopt someone’s political philosophy, then you may as well copy their facial hair.”

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