Thursday 4 August 2016 by Davywavy

Sir Killalot named in cash for peerages scandal


Sir Killalot Robot wars in cash for honours scandal

Robot Wars star Sir Killalot received his knighthood after making a ‘substantial’ donation to a political party, it has been alleged.

Fans of the television celebrity had been led to believe the master of metallic mayhem received his title for services to crushing and destruction, and the claims have seriously damaged Killalot’s public persona as a take-no-prisoners bad guy.

After the first series or Robot Wars ended, Killalot became a regular visitor to both Number 10 and Chequers during the Blair government, and it is understood that he made a ‘six figure’ donation to the Labour party after losing a drunken bet he had a less attractive smile than Cherie.

Killalot was ennobled in the 2007 New Year Honours, when the citation simply indicated he had helped an old lady across the road.

However, records released under the freedom of information act show a payment of £137,566 was made shortly before Tony Blair left office, marked with the mysterious reference “gurning competition”.

A spokesman for the Labour party has denied the allegations, insisting that honours were given solely on merit.

“It is an outrage to suggest that violent and dangerous figures were given titles simply because they handed over a fat cheque.

“We demand these untrue insinuations are retracted and an apology given,” insisted party spokesman The Lord Davros of Skaro.

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