Sunday 31 July 2016 by Davywavy and Eddie Hitler

Yorkshire told to stop pissing in the sink


Kitchen Sink in Yorkshire

High levels of bacteria in Yorkshire water supplies have led to locals being told to use a proper lavatory like normal people.

Residents near Doncaster have been warned not to drink tap water after ‘taking the easy way out’ on a midnight slash finally caught up with them.

Yorkshire Water had been investigating the cause of the pollution and finally concluded that it was the regional tradition of using the sink for everything; including cleaning motorbike engine parts, washing t’babby and letting go a happy stream of the amber fluid after a long night out – sometimes all at once.

“Thing abaht living in Yorkshire is that thy only bog is at t’bottom o’t’ yard wi’ whippets, an’ yer just can’t be fussed after six cans of Stella”, Doncaster local Sazza Williams told us.

“It’s a long trudge t’cludge, as I telled our lass when she caught me sighing with relief ovver t’sink.

“O’course, I knew all good things come to an end. I expect I’ll ‘ave to start using t’pot plants now.

“I don’t give ‘er Japanese Peace Lily good odds in t’next six months, I’ll tell yer that for nowt.”

Yorkshire has defended itself over the allegations, pointing out that whilst what they do in the sink might be unwholesome it’s nothing compared to what goes on in Lancashire.

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