Saturday 30 July 2016 by Davywavy

Man in headphones thinks nobody can hear him singing along


Man headphones on the train

A man listening to music on headphones is apparently unaware that everyone can hear him singing along.

Simon Williams, 31, appears to believe that by putting his headphones on other people will be spared his tuneless rendition of Royal Blood’s Out of the Black, which the evidence suggests he has on loop.

However, despite his inexplicably blithe confidence that the sounds coming out of his mouth are being muffled by the covering to his ears, people near Simon are being subjected to his mix of humming, incoherent mumbling, and occasional loud words when he remembers them.

“He’s just sitting there going ‘Mer nuh mah pardo me uff pardo you’ like nobody can hear him,” a fellow passenger in his train carriage told us.

“Again and again and again. I’d mind less if he was improving as time went on but noooo.

“It’s like listening to Mark E Smith after he’s had his third or fourth vodka.

“I wish he’d at least change songs.”

Fellow passengers will shortly learn that they are incorrect in their wish that he would change songs as Simon is considering switching to his ‘retro, ironic’ Kylie playlist.

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