Tuesday 26 July 2016 by Davywavy

Prince George to be put to work cleaning chimneys


Royal Family put George to work as Chimney sweep

Prince George is to enter the world of work by taking a part-time role cleaning chimneys to earn pocket money.

The Royal Family is to counter accusations that Prince George is ‘rich and advantaged’ by getting him the job, which Prince Philip has described as ‘character building’.

Philip will accompany him on his rounds, and if the young royal tries to climb out of the flue before it is completely clean, he will stick pins in George’s feet.

The 3-year-old prince, who was described as a ‘fucking dickhead’ by a Senior Employee at the British Council, is to start at home by clambering up Buckingham Palace’s chimneys with a brush to teach him about life.

“Prince Philip is a great believer in a traditional upbringing,” a spokesman told us.

“George has been seen wearing a little Lord Fauntleroy sailor suit and playing with a hoop, and this is the next logical step.

“He’s told William and Kate that if George wants any pocket money off the civil list then he’s got to – and I quote – ‘get stuck in and get his bleedin’ lily-white hands dirty; now get that little bastard up the chimney and if it’s not clean by Tiffin there’ll be hell to pay’.”

To support the initiative, the Royal Family has asked the civil list be increased by thrup’pence farthing to give the young Prince an allowance.

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