Monday 25 July 2016 by Lucas Wilde

Family I-Spy game enters fifth torturous hour


Traffic Jam into Dover

A family trapped in the Dover traffic have yet to find any decent ways to pass the time.

The Williams family first started playing I-Spy when the traffic on the way to Dover started to build up slightly.

“That was five hours ago, and now I wish I was dead,” said a bleary-eyed Simon Williams.

“We would have stopped but there’s literally nothing else to do in this car.

“I wanted to get the model with the TV screens in the back but the wife said no because she reckoned I’d sneak in to watch porn once she’d gone to bed, the perceptive tight-wad.”

Simon’s wife Sharon said, “I thought it would stop after three hours but we’ve managed to raise some truly irritating children who won’t stop until they’ve destroyed each other in every single conceivable way.

“Then Simon got a bit too carried away and said he spied something beginning with “M”, which nobody could get, at which stage he pointed to our four-year-old and said ‘MISTAKE! HAHAHAHA!’ which only added to the friction.

“He thinks he’s funny but really he’s just a dick.”

The couple’s six-year-old daughter said, “we actually wanted to stop playing after half an hour but mum and dad just kept coming up with stuff while staring at each other and not blinking.

“It’s been a really weird holiday so far.”

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