Thursday 21 July 2016

UK nuclear submarines to lose no-claims bonus


Submarine no claims discount

The UK’s fleet of nuclear submarines is to lose it’s no claims discount after colliding with a merchant vessel off the coast of Gibraltar.

HMS Ambush, an Astute-class nuclear attack submarine,

Though fault has yet to be officially agreed, the crash could see the UK’s nuclear submarine insurance premiums rise by over 25%.

A Royal Navy spokesperson told us, “Insurance on these things is already ridiculous, thanks to all those rich parents buying seventeen-year-olds idiots a nuclear sub to thrash around in before crashing it into a dry-dock somewhere.

“But it’s us responsible nuclear sub owners who pay the price in the long term.

“Yes, I know that technically this time it was us that crashed, but that’s not the point.”

The increased premiums are likely to hit an already stretched Navy budget, though cutbacks in other areas are not expected.

The Navy spokesperson continued, “A little dickie bird tells me we are about to get an extra couple of hundred billion to spend on subs and stuff, so I’m sure we’ll be fine.”

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