Wednesday 20 July 2016 by Waylandsmithy

Dog ‘furious’ after do-gooders smash his car windows again


Dog locked in car

A dog reacted angrily after his car windows were smashed, just moments after he parked up in a Waitrose car park.

“I’ve only had this car for 3 months,” said Simon, a 7-year-old golden retriever from Norwich.

“This is the eighth successive time someone’s seen fit to put a brick through it.”

Simon, who passed his driving test on only his second attempt, bought a Range Rover ‘because it’s the easiest to say in dog language.’

“I’d just pulled up in a nice, sunny spot, and I was listening to the end of the Archers before I got out”, Simon explained.

“And the next thing I knew, my window was smashed and I was being abducted.”

Simon did receive a small bowl of water after the incident, which he described as ‘wholly inadequate compensation’.

“Just because I’m a dog, some people assume I’m incapable of winding a window down and sticking my head out,” he complained.

“But it’s not the ’70s anymore, this thing has got dual-zone climate control. If you ask me, the people who did this are a teeny bit racist.”

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