Saturday 16 July 2016 by Neil Tollfree

The Winchester now full


The Winchester

The Winchester Tavern has announced that there is no more room for anyone else to have a nice cold pint, and wait for all of this to blow over.

“To be honest, it’s been jam-packed for weeks,” said Winchester owner and zombie, Simon Williams.

“Probably around the time of the referendum, then you had David Cameron resigning, the Tory party disintegrating, then the Labour party disintegrating, the terrorist attack in Nice, and then a coup in Turkey.

“Factor in that you’ve got Boris Johnson in a position of considerable power and there’s been an awful lot of people wanting a nice cold pint, and somewhere to wait for all of this to blow over.”

Inside the Winchester there is little room to move, with shell-shocked Londoners packed into every corner.

There is a feeling of forced bonhomie as people reminisce about better times; such as when persons who had recently died returned to life and committed acts of murder.

“I’m knackered,” continued Mr Williams.

“Surely everything will sort itself out soon, won’t it?”

But with the prospect of a total Labour party meltdown and split, further EU referendums in France and Netherlands, and Andrea Leadsom in charge of the environment, it is hard to see staff at the Winchester getting a well-earned break any time soon.

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