Friday 15 July 2016 by Lucas Wilde

It’s all going to be alright


happy man watching TV

Britain has been reminded that life really is rather good after a woman’s bottom popped out on live television.

Former Big Brother contestant and soon-to-be member of the public, Lateysha Grace, made the faux pas after trying to demonstrate an accurate twerk on television in a dress so tight it could have been used to press sausages into shape.

“Those pert cheeks gave me hope,” said Remain campaigner, Simon Williams.

“I’ve been basically weeping non-stop since the referendum, but the sight of that rather nice arse had me reaching for the tissues for a whole different reason.”

The Archbishop of Canterbury said “It is important in these tumultuous times that we all pause to remember what is good in life, and believe me, I’ve hit ‘pause’ on that clip an awful lot and realised that life is very good indeed.

“Christ almighty, what a bottom.”

A campaign has been started to have a still image printed onto the nations five pound notes, so that everyone might have a little smile every time they reach for their wallet.

“Unless you’re a woman or bent, it’s a great idea. And we never listen to them anyway,” confirmed a spokesperson for the Treasury.

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