Thursday 14 July 2016 by Davywavy

Khorne the Blood God confirmed as Secretary of State for Culture, Media and Sport in cabinet reshuffle


Theresa May cabinet includes Khorne blood god

Theresa May’s first cabinet is taking shape this afternoon with the appointment of Khorne the Blood God as Secretary of State for Culture, Media and Sport.

Khorne had been widely tipped for a senior cabinet position, and the move is seen as something of a step sideways from his previous position in the Department for Communities and Local Government.

Reaction to the appointment has been mixed, with figures from the arts world greeting the appointment of a gigantic demon of the Immaterium to the portfolio with concern, whilst conceding he’ll still do a better job than Louise Mensch did.

Shrewd political commentators are divided over whether the appointment is shown as support for Khorne from the Prime Minster, or simply as a sop to keep internal support amongst the Chaos Legions during coming Brexit negotiations.

“Margaret Thatcher had a lot of problems with sniping from the Chaos wing of the party, and her successors have worked to defuse trouble from that side ever since,” writes Political Correspondent Simon Williams.

“John Major famously referred to them as ‘Bastards’ when they invaded Kent and ravaged Basildon, which was seen by many to be the beginning of his later downfall.

“We know that Khorne really wanted the Transport brief as he hoped to redirect HS2 into a sigil of outer darkness, so it remains to be seen if this appointment has guaranteed his loyalty to the new PM.”

Speaking to reporters outside Number 10 just now, Khorne said he was delighted with his new role and that the new Prime Minster has his ‘full support’.

“Brexit for the Brexit God,”,he told us.

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