Wednesday 13 July 2016 by Davywavy

“Hiddleswift” revealed as fifth Hogwarts House


Tom Hiddleston and Taylor Swift

Tom Hiddleston and Taylor Swift’s portmanteau name is also the name of a hidden fifth house at Hogwarts, we can reveal.

Hiddleswift, founded by Henrietta Hiddleswift, is the house for people who pretend to keep their relationships secret for publicity reasons.

Henrietta was a powerful witch who also went out with Salazar Slytherin whilst steadfastly maintaining that she wasn’t and they were ‘just good friends’.

However, the two made sure that they made out whenever reporters from The Daily Prophet were within magic mirror scrying range, and then sent a screamer to the editor to ensure that was reported as well.

When challenged by Rita Skeeter over the nature of their relationship, Salazar Slytherin is said to have ‘gone red and looked a bit embarrassed’ whilst simultaneously ensuring the cameras were getting his good side.

Cho Chang is understood to have requested a move from Ravenclaw to Hiddleswift, but the sorting hat refused her request due to her not actually going out with Harry Potter in the first place.

Tom Hiddleston and Taylor Swift dismissed the claims as “Riddikulus”.

The house has gone through a number of name changes over the years, including Brangelina House and Bennifer House, but neither really caught on.

A spokesman for Hogwarts said that any suggestion the house had ever been renamed “K-Patz”, even for five minutes, was out of the question and now would we please go away.

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