Friday 8 July 2016 by Davywavy

Andrea Leadsom the only person in the world trying to convince people she was a senior banker


Andrea Leadsom banking history

Andrea Leadsom is the only person in the country actually trying to convince people she was an important banker today.

Being a person who was an important part of the banking system has come in for some criticism in recent years, with most people in that position keeping their head down and waiting for it all to blow over.

However, Leadsom feels that boasting of her time in the sector would give her an advantage amongst people who don’t know much about finance but like to think they do, and has set out to stress the importance of her role in the industry over many years – including making slight embellishments to her CV to make herself seem even more important.

Supporters defended this by pointing out that everyone tries to put a shine on their CV, and it’s perfectly normal and acceptable whether you’re going for a job in McDonalds, or as leader of a First World nation undergoing a pressing political and economic cataclysm.

Speaking to the press, Andrea described her time in the banking industry as having given her a ‘ringside seat’ to both the collapse of Barings Bank and the financial crisis of 2008, neither of which she saw coming or did the slightest thing to prevent.

However, she insists that this experience makes her the ideal person to have a ringside seat for the latest financial catastrophe to be inflicted upon the country, and she has stressed she will bring the same skill, care, foresight and diligence to watching this one as she did all the others.

“If I am Prime Minister I will work as hard for Britain as I did to save Barings, when the entire city except myself had heard the rumours that someone out East had a huge position against the market,” she told reporters.

“And as Head of Corporate Governance at Invesco I governed corporately all the way through the crash of 2008, although I admit it would have been nice if I’d had any responsibility for anything at all during this period.

“Some staff would have been nice as well, thinking about it.

“Still, if I become Prime Minister I’m sure I’ll have someone else making the tea at last.”

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