Thursday 7 July 2016 by Neil Tollfree

Last 200 pages of Chilcot report just ‘Blair is a warbastard’ repeated over and over


John Chilcot

It has come to light that the final 200 pages of the Chilcot report are just the phrase ‘Blair is a warbastard’ repeated over and over again.

“I just honestly never thought anyone would ever read that far,” said a tearful Sir John Chilcot after the end of his report was discovered.

“I got to the ending early so I needed to pad it out a bit.

“I mean, I’m charging £767 for 57777 pages and if you get to ‘…and then everyone got married and lived happily ever after,’ on page 57577 then you’re going to feel pretty cheated.”

The controversial ending to the report was discovered by one Simon Williams of Chertsey.

“Well, to be honest, 2.6 million words over 12 volumes is quite daunting, so I thought I’d skip ahead and see how it ended and if it looked interesting then I’d come back and read the rest.

“But it just went ‘Blair is a warbastard’ over and over again.”

Sir John went on to admit that he had, in fact,  padded his report with more than just 200 pages of ‘Blair is a warbastard’.

“There are also a couple of pages of Duran Duran lyrics in there, a page of ‘All work and no play makes John a dull boy,’ and 24 pages of drawings of nobs.”

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