Wednesday 6 July 2016 by Davywavy and orange peel o'shea

Surviving Conservative leadership contestants move on to Bush Tucker challenge.


Bush Tucker trial

The three surviving contestants in the Conservative leadership contest have progressed to the Bush Tucker challenge round, we can report.

Theresa May, Andrea Leadsom and Michael Gove will be presented with a selection of disgusting outback foodstuffs which they must devour if they hope to get enough gold stars to progress to the knock-out final.

When asked if he had any qualms about eating a kangaroo’s testicle to become leader of his party, Michael Gove said it was by no means the worst thing he’d done so far.

However, it is currently uncertain if Andrea Leadsom will eat a tarantula or simply attempt to mate with it.

Meanwhile, in other entertainment news, viewers of popular variety show “Labour’s Got Talent” have lodged a complaint with the BBFC as the title is blatantly misleading and untrue.

“What’s more, the show is obviously rigged,” viewer Simon Williams told us.

“They said that Jeremy guy was the winner, but he just sits there doing fuck all.

“There’s no way he’s a better leader than the performing dog.”

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