Wednesday 6 July 2016 by Alex Marsh

Liam Fox loses Tory race but bags George Foreman grill, magazine subscription


Liam Fox wins prizes

Despite failing to win the Conservative leadership nomination, a cheery Liam Fox declared himself ‘well up on Tuesday,’ having won a popular electrical appliance and a subscription to ‘The Puzzler’ in separate competitions.

“I love contests and giveaways, and try to go in for everything that I can find,” said the former Secretary of State for Defence.

“I didn’t get the Conservative Party this time, but the ‘Puzzler’ is a good read, and the George Foreman grill is a damn fine piece of kit. The fat just runs away off the meat, like magic.

“Although to be honest, I already have three,” he added. “I’ll probably sell this one on Ebay.”

Conservative Leadership

Dr Fox refused to be downhearted after polling just sixteen votes from fellow MP’s.

“I always cut out the coupon when the Conservative leadership thing comes around, and if you don’t ask, you don’t get,” he insisted.

“It wasn’t my day, but I did really well on the jumbo word search to get the magazine.”

The right-wing MP bagged the electrical grill by reviewing an LG tumble-dryer on Kelkoo.

“You win some; you lose some – that’s the competition game,” he said.

“I’d say ‘you kiss a lot of frogs,’ but you wouldn’t, would you? They smell of garlic, and they’re always on strike.”

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