Monday 4 July 2016

Nigel Farage resigns to spend more time with his ego


Nigel Farage, UKIP

Nigel Farage has resigned as leader of UKIP in order to devote more time to his beloved ego.

Farage told reporters at a press conference this morning that campaigning to leave the EU had been exhausting, but now was the time to step back and enjoy some ‘quality time’ with his ego as they reflect on his success.

He told those gathered, “UKIP is in a much stronger position today than it has ever been, and I am rightly proud of that fact, and the role my ego has played in getting us to this point.

“But it is only right that I now step back to give my ego the time and dedication it truly needs in the coming months and years – especially as opportunities for anti-immigration media mouthpieces will no doubt grow exponentially, and my ego and I must prepare for that.

“Just think, I will be able to say absolutely anything I like as I won’t have any party or political allegiances to hold me back – imagine what my opinions will be like when there are absolutely zero consequences to anything I say. And you thought my immigration posters were bad, ha!

“But I care not what people think, because I know that each evening I can return home to the loving embrace of my ego, and we can sit in the front of the fire telling each other stories about how great we are.”

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