Monday 4 July 2016 by Davywavy

Nigel Farage announces his annual resignation


Nigel Farage resigns

Nigel Farage has announced his resignation as leader of UKIP slightly earlier than usual this year.

Farage, who was Boris Johnson’s second deputy in the recent referendum on EU membership, moved his resignation up a few months to get some all important air-time as he felt his profile was slipping.

Farage’s resignations are a much-anticipated annual fixture on the political calendar, and he says he plans step down as the weather has brightened up and bit and he fancies some time in the beer garden before taking up the reins as UKIP leader again later in the year.

He told reporters that resignation would give him a chance to be ‘the real me’, and somehow made it sound like an improvement.

Nigel went on to say that he intends to break the mould of ‘retired politician’ by getting a jolly well-paid job as a talking head and soundbite-generator for daytime chat shows and political programming.

With any luck Russia Today and Iran’s Press TV will offer him a juicy contract like they have done all the other gobshites in British politic, he added.

Breaking news: Nigel Farage has just told reporters he plans to stand as leader of UKIP gain immediately, citing a ‘criminal lack of leadership’ since he left.

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