Monday 4 July 2016 by Davywavy

Gandalf the White arrested for life insurance fraud


Gandalf the White

Gandalf the White has been arrested after it was discovered he faked his death as Gandalf the Gray in a complex insurance fraud.

Gandalf is accused of changing his identity after a battle with the Balrog of Morgoth shortly after taking out ‘substantial’ insurance in his own name.

He then returned posing as his own relative to collect a payout estimated in the thousands of golden coins, which he used to buy an expensive and fast new white horse.

Insurance investigator Simwise Williams told us suspicions were first raised by Gandalf keeping the same name, which he described as a ‘dead giveaway’.

“It’s not as unusual as you might think – Sauron posed as dead for a life-age of the earth before returning to try and claim on a succession of policies,” he told us.

“He was exposed when he tried to claim for some jewellery he hadn’t insured at all which he said he’d lost in a volcano.

“Gandalf was just so blatant; snappy new threads, fast horse, hanging out with elf-maids thousands of years younger than him. Open and shut case.”

However, Smeagol has received a huge insurance payout after a court ruled there were ‘no suspicious circumstances’ surrounding the death of his cousin Deagol.

Although the scale of the policy has not been revealed, a spokesman described it as ‘precious’.

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