Thursday 30 June 2016 by Davywavy

Nigerian princes lining up to sign trade deals, claims triumphant Leave campaign


Vote Leave trade deals

Prominent leave campaigners have already accepted dozens of Nigerian free-trade deals in return for their bank details, they have announced.

The lack of anything resembling a post-Brexit plan had hampered Leave’s credibility in recent days, but a succession of senior figures in the Nigerian government offering up to Eleventy-hundred million billion dollarpounds has helped calm nerves.

People concerned about the effects of immigration have also been reassured that although the Nigerians are offering huge sums of cash, they’ve made it clear they don’t want to move here or even ever meet in person.

“This display of confidence I received over email from the Minister Prince of Oil Money today clearly demonstrates the confidence the international community places in our abilities,” said Leave spokesman Simon Williams.

“He’s willing to sign a free-trade deal worth Umpty-Trillion American Dollars tomorrow afternoon in return for a small, up-front payment now.

“This will more than pay for all that money we promised the NHS, you have my word of honour as a gentleman on that.”

When asked if he had any evidence that the money existed, Simon admitted that no, he hadn’t, but that was how the campaign operated and it had all gone swimmingly so far.

In breaking news, the Leave campaign has clarified there won’t be any more money for the NHS.

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