Thursday 30 June 2016 by Waylandsmithy

‘New’ stealth plane ‘had been here for ages’


RAF stealth plane

The RAF’s new stealth plane has been hailed a success after it was delivered three years ago without anybody noticing.

The F-35B, which features a beige cardigan and a sticky-on moustache, talks about the weather a lot and is quite interested in fishing.

“We were wondering aloud when we were going to receive our new aircraft”, said Wing Commander Simon Williams.

“And then we heard a polite cough, and an annoying voice say ‘only me’.”

Previously, stealth aircraft have travelled unobserved by using a combination of low heat signatures, and minimal radar reflectivity.

However, the new plane is designed to be so humdrum, that it’s instantly forgotten.

British and American engineers have worked together to develop the breakthrough levels of boredom. “They spent a lot of time talking to golfers,” explained the wing commander.

“They spent a lot of time talking to golfers,” explained the wing commander.

Stealth aircraft are important because they prevent the enemy from seeing what it was that very recently killed them.

But the new tedious aircraft has experienced a few teething problems: when it was sent to intercept a Russian bomber over the channel, the entire crew pretended they weren’t in.

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