Wednesday 29 June 2016 by Lucas Wilde

“Well I’VE not seen any extra racism” says white bloke


Not seen any racism

Some white guy you know has declared this whole rise in racism a load of piffle.

Simon Williams, a 48-year-old simpleton from Wolverhampton, made the assertion in his workplace- which made everyone go very quiet and still.

“It’s just a load of rubbish,” said Williams, “I was on the bus this morning and it was RAMMED with dodgy-looking foreign types, and nobody said a word to anyone.

“We all just carried on our morning commute, staring forward in solemn silence and thinking about death like any other day.

“So yeah, I reckon all those police reports, news stories and national statistics are made-up.”

Simon’s colleague, Elizabeth King, said “I thought about maybe telling him about my friend who has been told to ‘go home’ 16 times in the last week, despite the fact she was born in Slough and has no desire to go back there at all.

“But then I realised I’d have to actually talk to him some more in order to make the point, so I pretended I was getting an important phone call and walked off.”

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