Tuesday 28 June 2016 by Raggedyman

“What financial crisis?” asks Mad Max survival gear salesmen


Survivalist enjoying Brexit

UK sellers of studded leather armour, crossbows, and spiked desert cars are mystified about the economic downturn everyone else is going on about.

The latest reports show that following the Brexit decision on Thursday, sales of survival gear and other items mostly seen in apocalyptic themed science fiction films has increased by over nine thousand percent.

“I used to shift maybe three chain covered gimp masks a year, now I can’t order them in fast enough,” confirmed Brian “Max” Postlethwaite of Mad Max Memorabilia in Huntingdon.

“Friday morning I got to work, and there was a three hundred people mob outside chanting ‘let us in, let us in’.

“I’ve never seen such enthusiastic buyers; some of them were just piling anything they could get their hands on into their basket like it was Apocalypse Supermarket Sweep.

“Leather Combat trousers, horned motorbike helmets, even all the copies of “How to cook your pets” – everything went over the weekend.

“One group bought £5,000 worth of tents, glowsticks, field supplies, and war paint. They must be planning on hell of a rave.

“That or there was something on the telly I missed.”

The specialist custom car industry has also seen a similar increase in sales.

“I used to only get requests for steel window grills, smoke machines, and sticks to show off the skulls of your enemies from people that go to comic conventions,” Fred “Mad” Johnson of Roadwarrior Convertibles told us.

“Now it’s everyone. Bankers, nurses, retirees. The local flower arranging society just put an order in for a battle day-van.

“That referendum result must have done them the world of good as they just order top of the line, fastest turn around possible, and when they see the bill just go ‘it’s only money’.”

The boost in sales is in direct contrast to the recent economic gloom seen by most other sectors in the past five days.

“I know it’s great for me, but I do appreciate that there is a division amongst people right now.

“About half of my customers insist The Event has happened, with the other half saying it’s going to happen before September.”

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