Tuesday 28 June 2016

Hilary Benn was sacked by Jeremy Corbyn for ‘calling while Casualty is on’


Jeremy Corbyn sacked Hilary Benn

As the Labour leader faces a vote of no confidence in his leadership, the real reason behind the sacking of the Shadow Home Secretary has been revealed; interrupting Jeremy Corbyn whilst he was watching Casualty.

Mr Corbyn was sat in his favourite armchair, his big ‘I’m the Boss’ mug full to the brim with hot tea and a whole box of biscuits on his lap, enjoying the beginning of the popular hospital drama.

“You don’t interrupt Jeremy when Casualty’s on,” said a close associate of the Labour leader.

“I mean, you just don’t. Everyone knows that. It always used to be Triangle, then El Dorado, then Home to Roost, and now, for as long as I can remember Jeremy absolutely loses it if anyone talks to him when Casualty is on.

‘Jeremy, it’s Hilary for you’ – the words spoken by Mrs Corbyn that sealed Hilary Benn’s fate.

After a brief moment of silence, Mr Corbyn unleashed a torrent of foul language into the phone.

“Benn, you catastrophic sh*t-monger. How f**king dare you f**king phone me now…I don’t f**king care about your f**king concerns for the f**king party. F**king Casualty’s on and boy’s just fallen down a f**king well…oh f**k off speccy, you’re f**king fired.”

And so began a series of resignations that led to today’s vote.

Mr Corbyn is understood to be focussed on working 24/7 to rebuild his tattered party.

Except between 9.30 and 10.30 on Saturdays, obviously.

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