Monday 27 June 2016 by Dan Sweryt

Rise in compensation claims by those mis-sold a life outside the EU


mis-selling of EU exit

Leave voters have been receiving text messages from l’ambulance-chasing companies asking to contact them if they’ve been mis-sold a life outside the EU.

Leave voter Simon Williams says, “This morning I got a text asking if I’d been missold a life outside the EU and informing me I may be entitled to compensation.

“This is probably the best news I’ve had since I was really, really happy on Friday morning, before becoming really, really depressed by about lunchtime.”

Eleanor Gay, a spokesperson for PPI company Cash4EU said, “As soon as we realised what was happening, we stopped pestering everyone about PPI, as those amounts pale in comparison compared to this.

“Besides, it was diminishing returns now and there can’t be anyone left who hasn’t by now sorted out their PPI liability.

“We estimate 17,410,742 people may be entitled to this EU mis-selling compensation. If they’re not sure how they voted, I would urge them to get in touch with us right away.

“This could cost the governments billions of pounds that they haven’t got already, due to the upcoming recession.

“A recession which is going to hit the pockets of the traditional ‘Leave’ voter very hard, so I would get in your claim now!”

Davey Bobrow was one of the first to claim under the scheme and has already received compensation, “Last week, the government said it wouldn’t uphold my complaint. But with Cash4EU’s help, it has now offered me Spanish citizenship!”

Brexit means Clusterf*ck – get the t-shirt!

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