Saturday 25 June 2016 by Davywavy

Concerned nation joins hunt for missing George Osborne


George Osborne

Concerned friends and relatives have asked for information on the whereabouts of Chancellor George Osborne, who hasn’t been seen since Thursday.

George, 45, has not been seen since he got into a ministerial car on Thursday evening and friends say him not magically appearing in a high-vis jacket when a TV camera appears is ‘completely out of character’.

George is understood to be under considerable stress, and people close to him have said they’re worried and asked him to get in touch.

Members of the public have arranged search parties to look for the missing chancellor and are thrashing the undergrowth with large sticks just in case.

“Vanishing when things go horribly to shit was much more Gordon Brown’s sort of thing,” said search-party member Simon Williams.

“We’ve tried all the usual methods of getting in touch, such as arranging a photo opportunity and asking Jeremy Corbyn to say something particularly bananas, but he’s not turned up.

“It might be we’re looking for his body,” added Simon, wistfully.

In related news, bookies odds of Osbourne becoming Prime Minister are now worse than those of people who’ve specifically said they won’t stand.

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