Wednesday 22 June 2016 by Neil Tollfree

Man joins Brexit campaign ‘for the girls’


Man joins Vote leave to meet girls

A supporter of Vote Leave has admitted that he only joined the campaign to meet girls.

“To be honest, I don’t really mind one way or the other,” said the man in question.

“But I thought that supporting Brexit would make me look like the big man and would impress the girls.”

The man went on to explain that he’d found it difficult to form romantic relationships.

“Yes, always been something of a duffer when it comes to the, um, fairer, you know…lady types.

“They tend to think I’m a bit creepy and weird, so I thought I’d try and rid myself of that perception by joining Vote Leave and going on about immigrants.”

He believed it was too early to tell if his plan had worked or not.

“Well, I definitely feel cooler now. I mean, I don’t think anyone can deny that. You spend a few months disputing predictions of respected financial institutions and you’re definitely cooler.”

However, he confessed that there had been no romantic developments.

“Girls? No, well not yet. Can’t be long though, can it? I mean Brexit, girls bloody love Brexit.”

The man has asked that we do not reveal his name.

“Just refer to me as Boris J. No, that’s a bit obvious isn’t it – B. Johnson? No, that’s no better. Simon Williams, just say I’m Simon Williams.”

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